Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Remebering Why I Write



By Marlene Depler

I crawled in bed at my normal bedtime, but for some reason, I couldn’t sleep. (This happens to me occasionally if I have had caffiene or my mind is preoccupied. However, I hadn’t had any caffeine and my mind wasn’t racing.) After lying there for quite some time, I decided not to fight it. I slipped quietly out of bed and went downstairs.

Maybe I would find something on TV to watch while I waited for the sandman. But Ray had shut the DVR off in preparation for going away for a few days. I didn’t want to mess with it since I am technically challenged. Then I guess I’ll find something to read, I thought.

So I crawled in my wing-backed chair, put my feet up on the footstool, and picked up Julia Cameron’s book, Walking in This World: The Practical Art of Creativity. I opened the book to page 230 where I had left my bookmark and began reading.
The words and phrases began to leap off the pages and into my heart. I was reminded that creativity (writing for me) is a “spiritual and not an intellectual transaction.” God is the Creator, and in turn we are intended to create. Through it we touch “the divine and allow it to touch us.” “When we let God be God and work through us, we experience both a sense of serenity and excitement.”

I lost track of time as I began to remember the joy of writing—of creating with words. Somehow I had lost the delight of letting words, thoughts, and ideas tumble out of my head and onto the page. Why?

The next page hit the nail on the head. Julia said,
The ‘market’ is the golden calf. When we worship it, we deaden our souls, risking, over time, our attunement to the work that would move through us. Commerce has its place, but that place is not first.
I could relate to that for sure. And frankly, I was weary of the constant reminder to “know your market” and many of the other shoulds of writing. The business side of writing had taken its toll of me.

Focusing to much on the marketplace combined with personal loss had nearly extinguished my love for writing. Now I could feel it come rushing back. It was exhilarating. I remembered some of the things I had written for sheer joy. When I thought about it, the things I had written from the heart were the pieces that ended up selling the best. Yes, I indeed must write—and write what I WANT to.

I wouldn’t have missed this “creative high” for a few hours of sleep. I thanked God for this unexpected reminder. I slipped back into bed filled with anticipation and delight and promptly fell asleep.

The next day while we were traveling, I wrote a draft of a poem—something I hadn’t done in a very long time.

Yes, I must not lose heart in my creative adventures. Creativity makes life itself an ART!
(c) 2007 Marlene Depler (permission must be obtained to reprint or reproduce in any form)

2 comments:

Joshua said...
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Anonymous said...

Good for you Mom!
L